#ISAAC'S NOTES
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HOW'S THE BEACH?!!!????
IT WAS SOOOOOOO MUCH FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HERE ARE SOME PHOTOS I WAS GOING TO SEND YOU LATER!!!!!!!!!!!
i tried cropping out/erasing the people because they got in the way of the beach >:(
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READY AIM FIRE
#rvb#red vs blue#lolix#locus#felix#sam ortez#isaac gates#felix mcscouty#mine#*24#art#if you wanna know the vibes for this it's the aim is in your head by and one. had it on repeat a bunch lol#anyway felix's shield is such an interesting part of his character. like the manipulative selfish ch is one of the few to have a shield#its a small shield and he mainly uses it for himself but y'know. the shield itself is also his opposite not just from a selfish/protective#stance but in color too. i just came up with a dumb 'it could be that deep' theory symbolism thing re: felix locus + lolix lol. like its#v pepe silva/cornplate but y'know. his trust in the shield is part of what got him yeeted off the platform. using the shield offensively#bc someone already has his back. the shield + felix being a two-way barrier between locus and the world. them vs others. you get it.#the sketch i posted abt this was cursed tho bc as a thumbnail it looked like they were getting it on 🧍♂️#STOP having sex in my notes I cant take you idiots anywhere
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Oscar Isaac in AGORA (2009)
#i was so close to captioning this 'leto atreides' but i did not#i truly don't even need this to get notes i just need 3 people to see it and understand the vision#to ME this is leto and jessica and that's what really matters#oscar isaac#oscarisaacedit#agora#filmedit#filmtv#maya edits#i guess#this is barely even a gifset this is just me having some feelings about an image and forcing everyone else to look at it#also side note this film had all the ingredients for success and it just... fumbled them#film
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Today i offer you more Quincy art. Tomorrow? Who knows
#quincy isaacs#warframe#my art#someone mentioned in my notes that he will be a belgian malinois and i couldn't resist
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The baffling thing about the Hale Pack is that, with the exception of Stiles, you can just... fully pretend they are still around, as a pack, by s5, without even affecting the McCall Pack.
Erica is dead. Boyd is dead. Jackson left. Even Isaac, who had switched packs, then left anyway and isn't a permanent part of the McCall Pack so you might as well steal him. Cora left. Peter left. Derek left.
By season 5, none of them are around anymore and that's just wild but that also makes it so much easier to just pretend the Hale Pack still exists.
What I mean is, it would be messier if you had to pick apart the canon pack, if these characters had just been absorbed into Scott's pack and now had dynamics with the McCall Pack and involvements in the s4 and s5 plotlines that you would have to entangle and explain with how they'd be change if they were in the Hale Pack instead. But they haven't. Even the ones that did temporarily join the McCall Pack ended up leaving.
So I can just... sit in my sandbox and play with my Hale Pack while the canon pack does whatever the plot is. It is kind of neat.
Don't get me wrong. Would FULLY prefer if they hadn't written out Nearly Every Single Character I Love (including non Hale Pack member Kira my beloved. Started to feel really targeted with their choices, so glad even the writers knew they could not write Stiles off though lol), but in the realms of a quick and easy Fix It for the Hale Pack still being around, this is kind of neat.
#Hale Pack#Sterek#because we very much ARE stealing Stiles#(note to self: “Stealing Stiles” would be a great Hale Pack fic title)#Teen Wolf#Derek Hale#Peter Hale#Cora Hale#Jackson Whittemore#Erica Reyes#Vernon Boyd#Isaac Lahey#Stiles Stilinski
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When love is the drug or something idk
original:
#i dont like this that much#note to self NEVER draw at midnight👎#nvm i do that all the time#an extremely goofy movie#aegm#max goof#bradley uppercrust iii#maxley#sucker punch#oscar isaac
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♪ Look at what the light did now ♪ ♪ Bear it like a bounce upon the beak, oh ♪ ♪ Look at what the light did now ♪ ♪ Land and water and bird or beast, oh ♪ ♪ Look at what the light did now ♪ ♪ Shiny little band or golden fleece, oh ♪ ♪ Look at what the light did now ♪
RESERVATION DOGS Mabel + Golden Hour 2.04 Mabel + 3.05 House Made of Bongs
#reservationdogsedit#tvedit#reservation dogs#geraldine keams#shelby factor#isaac arellanes#made by carolyn#look at what the light did now feat. samantha crain ilysm#side note i'm 99% sure that the actor who plays young mabel is lane factor (cheese)'s sister irl#also i was looking at the credits and saw the actor who plays young bucky does the score for this show
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So, lately I've been reading my way through some really good Castlevania fics on A03, and I have to say that while there exists a delicious selection of fix-its....
There is a definitive lack of time-travel fics where the Nocturne-era crew get sent back to 1400s Wallachia.
Imagine the insanity of that scenario? Maria, Richter, Annette, and Juste have never known anything quite as bad as the full power of Dracula's wrath. Even Ezrebet Bathory couldn't hold a candle to carnage and destruction on that scale.
Alucard is just having an all around awful time for obvious reasons, and then you have Trevor and Sypha. Trevor is just doing Trevor, getting drunk and trying to forget his grief when WHABAM!... More Belmonts, two other random hunters, and a super old dhampir with depression. He is not emotionally prepared for any of that, and neither are the others.
Sypha is just doing Sypha, trying to save the world and looking for the right crew to help her out with that. She has no idea what her presence (and Trevor's) mean to Alucard, just that she's found her Hunter and Soldier.
Trevor is immediately both protective of his newly materialized relatives and standoffish with them. He of course has no idea that they've time-traveled or that he's their ancestor, so while he sees Richter as "just a kid" and innocent of any wrongdoing, he holds some resentment towards Juste because his perspective is basically "Why didn't this surviving elder of the Belmont clan come to try and help me when I was alone as a child? Did he genuinely not know that I was alive or did he just not care?"
Richter really wants to say something and set the record straight, but Juste finds it easier to be loathed than to try explaining, so he keeps Richter quiet.
Maria is still just mourning her mother and trying to recover, so she mostly does her own thing while occasionally spending some time practicing magic alongside Sypha and Annette.
Annette isn't sure how to feel about this whole clusterfuck, but she's pretty sure that she hates it, and she definitely hates having to watch as people undergo even greater suffering around her.
Alucard is crying in the corner, he's so fucking exhausted but can't tell anybody because he needs to be strong for "the kids," Oh..... And also this version of Trevor still hates anything and everything night related, even him, so showing weakness just gets him mocked.
And there's Dracula coming in from the left with a steel chair!!!!!!! 😮 🪑
#netflix castlevania#alucard castlevania#adrian fahrenheit tepes#richter belmont#juste belmont#maria renard#castlevania annette#trevor belmont#sypha belnades#vlad dracula țepeș#lisa tepes#isaac castlevania#hector castlevania#castlevania games#Maybe Grant or Greta show up#As a treat#Adrian: “I'm tired of this Grandpa!”#The Universe: “That's too damn bad!”#Trevor: “Haha lookit the stupid half-vampire being weak LMAO!!!!!”#Adrian: :'(#Sypha: “That was uncalled for Belmont. You should apologize.” >:(#On a less pathetic note. Older!Alucard is fucking terrifying when he's emotional and has night creatures to kill#Dracula actually takes him a little more seriously now. Even if he doesn't recognize him.#Dracula is also a little crazier here because he spends a lot of time thinking that he killed Adrian during their initial confrontation.#To him this new dhampir is just some random mofo with a weird human attachment issue.
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K but what if siblings
#had a revelation last night#looked around for their birthdates and found Marc's but not Miguel's so I searched for his first appearance ever and went w that#and yes yes I know Miguel's supposed to be from like the future or whatever but isn't this much more fun#so anyway the important thing here is baby Miguel#i also don't care that they have completely different heritages I'm just here to propose that if they were brothers that would be very cute#also PLEASE read the little note at the top right as it says who made the og poses I referenced for this#their art is very cute so please check it out thank you#my art#fan art#across the spiderverse#moon knight#miguel o'hara#marc spector#steven grant#jake lockley#oscar isaac#yes oscar is the entire reason this exists you can thank him for that#marvel#atsv#atsv fanart#moon knight fanart#across the spiderverse fanart#miguel o'hara fanart#marc spector fanart#steven grant fanart#jake lockley fanart
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Trans headcanons: when people ridicule the thing they think they support
So I'm tired. Let's have a talk.
Let's start with the very concept of headcanons, before I get to the infuriating part: A headcanon is, by definition, an idea that has never been confirmed as being actual canon. It's people imagining things about the characters they like, taking advantage of the fact the media they're in never depicted certain things, certain moments of the characters' life, to fill the gaps. A headcanon that make sense, and isn't there to just make the character your OC, takes into account what the actual canon has already shown, such as the character's personnality or goals. (I'm taking characters as example here but headcanon can be about the media's universe as a whole, too)
For example: In Castlevania: Curse of Darkness, and it's mangas, we never saw the life Hector and Isaac lead in the Castle between the moment Hector arrives (Isaac being already there) and the moment he runs away. It's a perfect opportunity to have fun and imagine what happened all those years! So, by taking into account what official products gave us, such as Isaac and Hector's personnalities (before and after the curse took ahold of them), how they interact together, and their common roles and duties under Dracula's reign, we can easily headcanon that they used to be friends and respected each other, before it slowly gets crushed by Isaac's obvious inferiority complex and jealousy in regards of Hector's power and relationship with Dracula.
That's a headcanon. A thing that can differ from one person to another, as interpretation can also vary, just like the plots we like to see. But let me tell you something absolutely crucial this headcanon does that make it a valid one: it doesn't contradict canon material.
That's a thing I feel like tends to be forgotten by many claiming their takes on characters as "headcanon". It stops being a "headcanon" and start being a "i'm twisting this character into my OC" when you start making shit up that not only does not fit the Character, but also contradicts directly what has been shown about said Character, just because you're a certain way or like certain things. That's not a headcanon. That's fanfiction. Not one that will interest those who actually like the canon and doesn't like when people change things about it instead of just adding to it, but if you're having fun, go for it! Just own up to the fact that you're deforming a pre-existent character, lol.
Now that... that is still pretty harmless. Sure it's annoying to see someone take your Blorbo and make it do things it would never do and call it a "headcanon", but it's just that. Annoying. But then...
Have you ever come across, in your favorite medias, male characters who look are act just a bit feminine? Or female characters who might be a little rough, angry, or muscular? And then you go look for content of them, and are met with "that character is trans" headcanons? Chances are, if you're very active in fandoms, you have. Maybe some of you cringe because there's something wrong going on there and you're not sure what, and you're afraid you're just being transphobic even though you support transfolks and maybe are one yourself... at least it was my case at first lol. But not to worry! There's a very good explanations to your cringiness! And it's that: Lots of those headcanons are straight up awful in their logic and an insult to every genders involved! :)
Let's take the Netflixvania version of Hector as an example. He's the perfect target for those kind of headcanons, because he's a pretty boy! He's (a bit) feminine! So of course, just from that, you'll have people claiming he MUST be a trans woman. An awful take to call "headcanon", because it's very surface-level, gleefully ignores that everyone everywhere have both feminine and masculine sides to them (and the fact Castlevania is originally a JAPANESE product, have you ever seen ACTUAL anime? Pretty boys and boys who look like girls be everywhere in this media), some men being more feminine while some women can be more masculine, and literally goes back to gender-conforming logic. Something the very concept of transgenderism actually fights against. I mean sure, you have trans women trying to be as feminine as they can, and trans men as masculine as they can, for reasons that might differ from one person to another. But there's also those who don't. Those who simply exist, feeling secure enough in their gender that they don't care how masculine or feminine others percieve them to be. And what about the very cis people who don't conform to what others say they should look like, according to their genitalia?
Headcanoning a character as trans because of the way they look only is great !... To perpetuate gender-conforming mindset and clichés, and be uncomfortably close to transphobic logic (the "we can always tell" crowd who'll think a cis woman is a man because her body, that she has never altered in any way and is only the result of her genetics, is a bit too masculine, for example :) ). So what else you can use to headcanon a character as trans without it leaving a sour taste in other people's mouths?
Their personnality? Well, yes... but also no. It all depends on how you turn it. And in case of N!Hector? Oh boy! ^^
Hector is kind and compassionate... mostly with animals lol, and the devils he creates. He is gentle, can be vulnerable. He doesn't want humanity gone, but he wants them to be kept under control, because on one hand, he doesn't like them because Trauma, and on the other, he's not a bad guy at heart. He is naive, dare I say, emotionally, physically and mentally weak, wich causes him to be compared to a child by actual characters in the show, and a dumbass by the fandom. ^^ And ALSO causes him to get tricked, beaten and abused by vampires (wich makes the fandom call him even MORE of a dumbass for, and side with his abusers because "haha hot women vampire go brr"). Overall, even if he's trying to be tough here and there, and opposes some (futile) resistance sometimes (never going as far as it should've because of Peak Writing), he quickly goes back to being, well, soft (wich is NOT a bad thing in itself btw).
Now there's nothing wrong when you look at his personnality alone, and ignore literally everything else such as the way he was treated by the narrative, the characters, and the fandom itself. But look at this... and tell me it feels trans woman-coded.
Headcanoning Hector as a trans woman boils down to say "i think women are soft, naive, stupid, weak, kind and compassionnate, and men cannot be". It's already a very vomit-inducing take insulting both genders, but then you take into accounts what actually happens to Hector: him being tricked, used, abused, beaten, dehumanized by every character he interacts with and never taken seriously, even by the man who hired him as one of his GENERAL. Oh, and treated like a literal pet, too! Called as such by Lenore herself! And it gets worse. Because the narrative itself sees nothing wrong with that (exactly because he's a man :)). Just... why would you see a man being treated like a pet, not human and not even an adult, and think "ah, yes. A woman." ?? I'm sorry but I can't, in good faith, approve of that. What kind of vision does it mean you have of women and trans women?
So not only headcanoning N!Hector as a trans woman is an insult to women and tells more about how YOU view them than anything else (consciously or not), but it also serves to completely rip Hector off of his masculinity and insult men as well. As if a man couldn't suffer the way he did. As if a man could not be kind or naive without being compared to a child. As if a man had to have short hair or beard or drink beer or whatever you think a man is supposed to be like and how a woman is supposed to be like.
Oh, and special shoutout to that one tumblr user I will not name that literally said "how can you not headcanon Hector as a trans girl. She's literally a doggirl ok"! It's is the most awful take I have EVER seen and I want to throw up all over your blog! Literally, how dumb does one have to be to see a gentle, pretty man being treated like a dog for kinky points and go "not only is this a girl, that's also a doggo! Woof woof!" I swear to God.
Sigh... so, yeah. This far, I have yet to see anyone headcanoning Hector as a trans woman and not making me want to throw up in my mouth, considering how the character is. But there's one more thing! The narrative.
The narrative can also be used for headcanons, and often is. "What is this character and their story about?" "How is the [media] portraying them?". "How are we supposedd to feel about the character/story/actions?" In N!Hector's case, despite him having potential... the narrative is just humiliating him through and through. He gets tricked by everyone, mocked for his harmless personnality, his mistreatment happens out of pure sadism and to elevate the Girlbosses, and he gets used for horny points. He is just a victim durîg the whole show, and when you THINK he's FINALLY going to do something... nope! He vaguely help bring back the Big Bad Guy (wich ends up being useless i swear to god N!Hector's life is joke lmao killme) while falling for his abuser! Getting back at her by protecting her, I guess! ^^
So what was his character and story about? A misunderstood man... who exist only to be used and tossed around and never get justice nor is allowed to fight back. You can't even say he's a plot device because the plot itself mocks him and could have worked well, if not better without him. (Isaac going after Carmilla directly instead of going after Hector and choosing last minute to kill Carmilla while he's at it would have made a little more sense, though he still would have went after the wrong people, but that's another story) Definitely the kind of character I love to see having his masculinity revoked and called a woman! Not insulting at all!
See, it is very difficult to headcanon a character as trans... especially when you don't think about it through. Wich people like that one user calling Hector a "doggirl" did (that was a whole other level of victim blaming holy shit. Shows once again how men's and males' trauma and suffering are not taken seriously enough). What is happening to Hector here happens to many other characters in other medias, and to stay in Netflixvania, it is happening with Alucard as well. Because people are cowards and won't headcanon the big grumpy hairy guy as a trans woman, they have to headcanon the gender-nonconforming character and, by doing so, actually gender-conform him ❤️ (i mean it as a half-joke. you do you, but I think this is a clear proof of how the gender norms have a big place in your mind)
I think I would have less problems with lots of these if they weren't called "headcanons". Let's be honest, many will think of a character as trans because THEY'RE trans and it's their blorbo, and MAYBE think of justifying it further afterward. That's not how HCs work, you're just projecting. And you know what? It's fine! It's not a bad thing in itself! Make a pre-existent character trans if it's fun for you! If it makes you feel better! I mean I'm worried of N!Hector is the one you relate to the most. But it doesn't matter if others don't like it, because it's a content made for you, by you! But don't call it a "headcanon" (or claim it as canon directly, wut) and try to justify it when there's nothing in canon even slightly hinting at it being potentially true, or working, or making sense for the character. Don't call it "headcanon" when you're literally genderbending a character. Please. Think things through.
Also, remember when I talked about a proper headcanon does not contradict actual canon? Well. The male character you call a trans woman going by "he/him" the whole time kinda contradicts your idea. It's as if you "headcanoned" a character who has been seen only being attracted to the opposite gender and in love with someone of the opposite gender as being gay. Sure, you can say that's a closeted trans character... but then you better have solid reasoning for thinking that, once again. Or, you know, you could assume that you genderbend the character for fun (and i don't mean "turn it into a cis character of the opposite gender", i mean keep them trans, but don't pretend to base your vision mostly on canon). Would be less insulting than saying "this weak pretty man is actually a woman because he's weak and pretty, canon told me". I prefer someone who owns up to the fact they don't care about canon and just want to have fun rather than someone who implies they care about canon by using "headcanon" and then give poor and insulting arguments.
I get that lots of people with these headcanons don't have bad intentions and don't realize how fucked up their reasoning (or the simple fact of calling N!Hector a damn DOGGIRL- sorry i'll never recover from that) is, but still. As much as I respect everyone's right to do whatever they want with characters in their own little corner, caring about nothing but having fun, I've been needing to vent about this issue for a while now. Being an ally or a trans person yourself doesn't prevent you from spreading stereotypes, I'm afraid.
This problem of "i'm using poor and stereotyped arguments that is more insulting than anything to justify my idea" could apply to autism headcanons too, btw. And probably other things as well. Just. Please. Think about what you're writing. Think before you talk.
#note that i'm sure there must be harmless trans HCs out there#i just haven't seen much that doesn't make me go irk. at least not in the CV fandom#(and i'm talking about headcanons. not fanfictions. they're different things)#(it's easier to read a fanfiction where one of the characters has been turned trans#just doing it's own little story in the same universe as canon#not necessarily pretending to be in the same continuity#rather than see a take implying they're basing their thoughts on actual canon.)#(and then turns out the take is full of stereotypes and straight up insulting.)#netflixvania#castlevania#netflix castlevania#trans talk#trans headcanon#hector castlevania#castlevania isaac#curse of darkness
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would you desecrate john winchester's corpse with me? 🥺 👉👈 and then we can hold hands if you want
uhm YES!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!! i would literally love to desecrate john winchester's corpse with you and hold hands while we do it 🥺👉👈 i think we deserve something nice like that.... maybe we can go steal stuff from big corporations and get a snack afterwards? 🥺👉👈
#SCREAMING ISAAC ILYSM#genuinely i would do anything w you i thinm#you could invite me to watch paint dry. time and place ill be there#isaac's notes#notes
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— 25/10/24
some recent bits and pieces :)
#isaac is studying#studyblr#notes#earth science#climate science#atmospheric science#post grad life#postgraduate#masters by research#postgraduate researcher#university
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The problem with adapting the "Foundation" novels was always going to be that Hollywood runs on individual heroism, whereas the thesis of the books is that history is primarily a deterministic, collective phenomenon. Having now watched the first season of David Goyer's version of the story, I would say that he's having some difficulty squaring that particular circle.
#i liked the beginning and end if the season but my god did the middle drag#Pharah was such a one-note character i hated every minute she was onscreen#and i didn't care for the 'chosen one' element with Salvor because i thought it ran directly contrary to what i like about the series#but the finale returned to the 'broad sweep' aspect so i shall keep watching#foundation#apple+#salvor hardin#isaac asimov
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Man I hate being able to read
#average wattpad behavior tbh#someone typed that with their hands#on a separate note i hate the delulu thing#my mom said delulu to me and i made it my mission to make her regret it#it's fun when people say that sort of stuff because you can make them explain what it means and watch them Squirm#but like if you make it say real words it says the solution to your delusional like WHAT does that MEAN#if anything booktok recs make me worse off in life#colleen fucking hoover and shit#call me old and out of tune with the Youth but i think it's stupid#''ooh isaac why don't you just let people have fun??? :((( it's harmless :((('' i am actively making pottery out of your bones#delulu#tiktok#anti tiktok#booktok#there that way my target demographic will see this post#god i hate having eyes#maybe im the only person in the whole world who thinks it's dumb but that's ok i can accept that
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Workin on Redesigning Jackies Colorful version and Im stuck as hell on clorors to pic for their Hair. Tried a billion different ones but These 5 seemed to work best I think
Also also Redesigning Isaac as well as his Sister. The old story I had for them was okay but then I got a better idea that makes Isaac the irredeemable shit I wanted him to be originally!
Also this idea allows me to tie in the whole thing from the cannon creeps comic of everyone seeming to hate LJ. Only in PM I plan on it to be a bit different with Ragz. Mainly that they didn't really do anything but SOMEONE did.
A Hint on why Ragz may be heavily disliked.
#im very unsure on a hair color so by all means give opinions!#either way its gonna be black in the version of them with less color#on another note#if it wasnt obvious Isaac is just being straight up malicious by dressing like that in the underworld#mf is intentionally pretending to be this clown to cause problems because hes pissedbabout being very justifiably killed#I'll get into that backstory one day#i gotta admit tho. Clown Isaac is very fun to draw#i got the idea because when reading the original LJ origin story#the thought of 'hey what if LJ is actually just Isaac?'#like yeah LJ killed him blah blah#bit what if LJ really was just an imaginary friend and the death was more a metaphorical one#im sure someoen else has had the idea before#but it came to mind a long time ago and it inspired me to be like#“what if after getting killed by this clown Isaac said he ruined my life so ima ruin his now”#and just dressed up to cause problems on purpose for them#anyway actual tags now#creepypasta#proxymorons#crp#creepy pasta#creepypasta art#doodleteeth#creepypasta redesign#laughing jack#isaac grossman#Izzy Lockwood#Isaac Lockwood#Ragz#Jackie Ragzdale
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curse of strahdanya has officially taken over my brain! alongside arcane…season two is SO GOOD SO FARR please go watch it if you haven’t. holy shit yall it does not disappoint
spoilers for up to and the entirety of episode 7 of cos — ill mainly be talking about character dynamics (mostly shepnax) but major events and plot developments will be explicitly discussed as well, so, if you’re not there yet, please don’t keep reading (getting spoilered for this stuff is not worth it i promise)
im sorry in advance. im not even done writing everything yet and its already very long
the way i see it, episode 7 is a major turning point for not only the whole story but inter-party relationships as well. i’ll be organizing this a little bit so it’s less text-wall-y (hopefully)
shepherd
there’s the raven mother they find nailed to the wall — the culprit being strahdanya. this definitely fueled the hate that all of the party had for her, but especially shepherd. he literally screams out in anguish and, later, calls strahdanya a coward and bitch — something we’ve never seen shepherd do before.* i think the events in the beginning of ep 7 is what really cemented his and the party’s objective: destroy strahdanya. before, i sensed some kind of ‘wiggle room’: the party would be willing to work with her a bit, though only for a very short amount of time and would probably backstab her. but after witnessing all that? strahdanya is irredeemably evil, not worthy of consideration / sympathy / courtesy, and i think it finally fully dawned on them all
*i also love how much raw emotion shepherd expresses throughout the campaign. the rest of the party has their moments too (i can immediately think of kana and victoria, but im not remembering any significant ones for clayton or sarnax though i know they exist), but shepherd consistently reacts to the hellhole that is barovia in such a genuine way that it grounds the whole narrative and, to me, makes barovia that much more horrifying. in other stories or discussions of stories ive seen like this (and even in the cos party itself), the characters are largely untouched by the horrors that occur in such a setting. which, fit the characters/purpose as it might, distances the audience at least a tiny bit from the happenings of the narrative. but when you have an otherwise grounded, calm, capable individual like shepherd crack? that’s when it really hits you i think. like, the whole thing with sarnax reviving the mother? shepherd being so relieved and overcome with a multitude of feelings that his voice cracks as he holds back tears, begging the mother to rest and not do any work? it made me feel the same way, and it really drove home how wonderful this act is and how dire their situation is. shepherd (and andy by extension!) have drawn the most emotion out of me in my watch, and its possibly the main reason i enjoy his character so much
him being seemingly chosen by the silver dragon (which, again, another turning point) is very compelling in a narrative sense too because shepherd doesnt want power, he doesn’t seem to even like the idea of leading (or at least being pushed into a position of leadership). i’ll touch on it later in the shepherd and sarnax segment (if i dont forget lol, my mind is running wild while i write this)
victoria
i think strahd’s infatuation with her and the physical effects it has (kana’s cleansing ritual failing because the water becomes blood as it touches victoria) is so interesting, especially her inner conflict with her heritage and wickedness (and the distrust it sows between her and the party, at least initially)
i really enjoyed how victoria was vulnerable with kana, and how kana handled it with such care and compassion. this is also a turning point, i think, when it comes their relationship: kana promises to protect victoria, and victoria promises to fight the darkness within her; they definitely got closer after that, and their bond was deepened. i dont imagine strahd would be very happy about victoria not being enamored by her and being helped by her party, though it’s very possible that she enjoys ‘the chase’ (for the lack of a better term)
when they came across the dusk elf in the order of the silver dragon estate-thing, it’s a pretty clear parallel to victoria given her appearance, heritage, and reason for being in barovia. i could be very very wrong about this but its heavily implied victoria’s elf half is a dusk elf, which makes sense considering, again, that she’s in barovia to learn about her lineage and that dusk elves are the only elves mentioned so far. i think this is the first time she’s genuinely made progress in her goal
sarnax
sarnax’s identity revolves around gherix: his whole life is devoted to the fire lord; he’s used to communing with and praying to his god. it’s likely what kept him going in such a terrible place with such terrible odds of survival, let alone returning (which he’s convinced he will not). so when strahdanya intercepted the augury spell he was so clearly shaken. it was one of the few moments, if not the only one, where sarnax was in genuine, utter panic — the whole time shepherd repeatedly asked him if he was alright and he didn’t seem to hear those words at all. suddenly he learned that strahdanya could damage or possibly sever his connection to his god, the being his life is centered around. (kana’s comment certainly didn’t help)
but what happens after — the augury spell reading ‘weal’ and sarnax being able to revive the mother — strengthens his faith. it was tested, but he prevailed. i think he was also filled with a newfound sense of purpose, knowing that, no matter what strahd does, his god considers him worthy enough
about him and kana: episode 7 is the culmination of their slow development towards not only tolerating each other’s beliefs but to understand and embrace them, specifically with kana saying that she trusts in sarnax and his god
sarnax and shepherd
the conversation between them was my favorite moment in this episode by far. there are so many layers,
shepherd so clearly doesnt want to embody his namesake and be a leader, but the silver dragon and someone he trusts so much — sarnax — and fate itself push him in that direction, so he just does. shepherd says:
“sarnax don’t”
“no why would you-“
“why- why- why would you put this on me, why?”
“how can you say that?”
“this was just a job. i mean this was just to make sure we all got here and back safely…how did this happen?”
then, later…
“alright, alright i…okay. i…dont know what to say”
“alright…alright…okay, understood”
“sure, sure. lead the way” and, after sarnax says “no, shepherd. you lead the way, i will light the path,” “…fine.”
essentially, he sucks it up. and that’s interesting to me since shepherd shows so much emotion, so it’s clearly not a ‘men dont cry’-type ideology thing. i think it’s probably related to his desire to do good, and as well as the good doc. after all, the doc gave him his virtue name: shepherd. it only makes sense that he would be written by fate as one: a person who guides the lost through the darkness. so that’s my guess as to why he so readily accepts this burden
i think sarnax being the one to say this also played a role in it^. shepherd witnessed firsthand the power of gherix and sarnax’s wisdom, so much so that he prayed to gherix. shepherd, who was originally averse to anything religious, prayed. and i also think sarnax is shepherd’s only true friend in the party. his relationship with clayton, victoria, and kana feels like professional acquaintances — they’re comfortable with each other and certainly growing closer, but he seeks out sarnax (and sarnax does too) and both have called the other a friend or good friend, on more than one occasion for shepherd and at least one for sarnax. it’s obvious that shepherd values what sarnax has to say and cares for him.
because of that, sarnax saying that he will die in barovia (specifically that he doesn’t “believe [he has] a place back in avantris” and that “whatever it is that [they] achieve here will be [his] end” because he has “seen it in the flames”) and shepherd’s reaction hits even harder for me.
shepherd says “i’m not gonna leave you. i’m not gonna leave anyone.”
and sarnax replies “then it will be i that leaves you.”
it’s the shortest exchange, but it holds so much weight. sarnax has accepted his fate, possibly long before this. but when before sarnax took charge and led the group, shining his light, he steps back, realizing shepherd is the one who (he thinks) fits that role. he still guides, but he doesn’t lead, and he believes shepherd should. but shepherd doesn’t. shepherd’s used to following orders, as we see so many times with him and clayton (but also him and sarnax), and struggles to make decisions for the group — when they ask him where they should go, shepherd seemingly blanks and he just picks whatever as fast as he can (to get the pressure off him, i assume). and despite this, shepherd’s line reinforces what sarnax thinks: a good shepherd doesn’t leave his sheep behind, he goes after and, well, shepherds them.
and honestly the whole relationship between shepherd and sarnax. them being regarded as monsters by others, being dehumanized by, for example, vascha [?] thinking shepherd is a devil and esmeralda calling sarnax shepherd’s pet ->
shepherd answers, understably upset, “he’s not my pet, he’s a person!” i figured sarnax felt the same way, but when he was praying to gherix, he referred to shepherd as “a vessel for [gherix’s] wrath.” so that raised a question to me: does sarnax truly care for shepherd (in the way shepherd does), or does he view him as a tool? it’s interesting to think about. it could be him truly caring about shepherd and seeing him as a capable person who will have a great role in his god’s plans which, i imagine, is among the highest of honors — the first possibility in the question, but filtered through the lens of sarnax’s religious perspective (which i think is the most likely and most compelling)
and there’s the parallel with them being connected to gold and silver dragons: different, but the same. (unrelated tangent but there’s also a very interesting parallel between shepherd being chosen by the silver dragon [‘good’] and victoria being chosen by strahdanya [‘bad’])
sarnax saying “silver will unite with gold” is, on the surface, about the two dragon-gods involved in the story. but i think, on a deeper and probably unintended level, it also applies to shepherd and sarnax growing closer (as they have been since the prologue, following in the footsteps of their respective dragons, and shepherd connecting the two dragons by his faith in gherix and affinity to the silver dragon.
i think that’s everything! hopefully i wont post this and immediately remember something i didn’t mention
thank you for reading all of this <33
#hopefully the order (not chronological) i wrote this in (and the whole thing in general) makes sense#idk. curse of strahdanya my beloved#yes i did transcribe the majority of the sarnax shepherd conversation#on paper because my notes app kept crashing whenever i tried to write a single word#im so normal about them#curse of strahdanya#sarnax of the edelwood#silas shepherd morgan#silas ‘shepherd’ morgan#kana soyokaze#victoria isaacs#legends of avantris#not art#media analysis#-> maybe#jade rambles
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